Happy Valentine's Day!!!

14th February - a day of chocolates and roses, romantic dinners and cutesy cards. I've been thinking about what Valentines Day means (and god, I don't mean in the existential sense) in terms of materialism, commercialism, expectation and sincerity.

Traditional View (Soppy Style) - V-Day is about lurrrrve, about expressing how much you care, about lovers and togetherness and appreciating that special someone.

Traditional View (Bah Humbug Style) - V-Day is just a commercial thing, love and togetherness has nothing to do with "one day" and buying cards and presents has nothing to do with true feeling. I've never had anything from my wife/husband, but we've been together donkeysears...

Modern View (Pragmatic Style) - V-Day doesn't really mean that much, but it makes her/him happy to get something, do something, receive flowers, go to dinner. So why not? On a day when half the office is receiving roses, it's almost mean not to!

Modern View (Love Languages Style) - V-Day is about taking the time to express your feelings for someone, in the language they like to hear it. So, if he/she likes "gifts" that's what you do, if he/she likes "time", you go to dinner. It doesn't matter that those gestures are meaningless to *you* - sometimes it's good to think about expressing in a way that's meaningful to *them*

And finally... my view. I went through some angst over V-Day this year. I thought about what I wanted (flowers!!! roses!!! a present!!!) and I thought about what my partner would be inclined to do (nothing!!!) and about what my partner has done in the past with other people (bought the card, bought some flowers, because that's what you do) and how little that meant to him in the end (i did it because i had to).

And I went through a range of emotions, which I'll share:

- It's silly to want flowers or presents - they don't equal love

- Wahhhh I'm so jealous that he EVER got ANYTHING for ANYONE else...

- Hang on - he got them stuff, but now he's with me. So that stuff really is meaningless

- But... but... I'm sitting at work... and I really really want roses

- OHHHHH he organised roses for me!!! They're so pretty!!! I love them! My roses!

- Gosh, I'm so vain and petty, being so thrilled about roses

- Who cares! I like getting roses, I've told him I like getting roses, he got me roses, I'm going to enjoy them in all their meaningless, trivial, materialistic glory!!!

So there we have it folks, it's not worth agonising over, it's not worth navel-gazing over, but if your lover complies and sends you a dozen dark-red roses wrapped in gauze and flax.... you can sure as heck ENJOY IT :)